Glancing at the clock so much he might as well be staring at it Alex counts down the minutes and seconds before it’s time to punch out. He loves his job and half the time there’s no where else he’d rather be, unless he happens to have plans after work or something to look forward to, like a party but not today. After work it’s time for more work, and he’s eager to get it over with.
“I’ll take them all.” A patron says. “It’s debit.”
“That comes to $31.02” Says Alex, bagging the man’s bird cage along with some bird feed and a few cat toys. He double taps the total button and flips the pin pad over to the customer after swiping his card, the receipt prints and Alex rips it from the printer handing it to the man between his middle and index finger.
“Have a nice night.” He adds.
“Cheers.”
Alex works at a pet store owned by his uncle, one night at a family Christmas party he let him know his love for animals and the next morning he had him working. Alex has always been close with his family, he’s been good to them and they’ve been good to him. He practically runs the place. His uncle is always running out doing errands or when he’s actually at the store he doesn’t do much supervising, he sits in the back office going over papers. Alex is an honest guy and never pockets anything that doesn’t belong to him and his uncle knows that, and trusts him.
The bell over the shops door jingles and in his peripherals Alex sees a man wearing a top hat make his way over to the register.
“Sorry sir, we’re closed in 5 minutes so unless you’re just bu-“
“It’s me.”
Alex looks away from the register and up to the man standing in front of him.
“Oh Steiner wasn’t expecting you until… five minutes from now.”
“Yeah just came by a little early to see if you got cold feet.”
“Naw man you know I’m pumped for this.”
“Alright I’ll be waiting in the car.” He says making a gesture with his top hat. Alex has always liked that hat and he’s always been a little jealous. Not so much jealous of the hat itself but jealous of the idea of the hat. The type of hat Kid Rock wears has been Steiner’s signature hat since high school. Five years later he’s still rocking it and Alex can’t believe he isn’t as chic.
After closing up shop and getting his things together, he punches out, says good night to his uncle and heads out the back door to the parking lot. Parked beside a street lamp casting a halo on the thin sheet of snow covering the asphalt he sees the Lincoln, another one of Steiner’s things that contribute to his personality. Alex throws his backpack in the backseat beside a red motorcycle helmet and gets in the front seat. He clips in his seat belt and rubs his hands together.
“Jesus it’s 30 below zero in here turn on the heat a little.”
Steiner grins and puts his key in the ignition and waits for the car to warm up.
“Talk to Valerie?” Steiner asks.
“No… she doesn’t call me you know that."
“We had another fight and you know how girls are, they complain to their other girlfriends about their problems.”
“Shut up, maybe you’re just not cut out to be in a relationship.” Alex says in response to the insult.
“That may be so my friend, that may be so.”
Steiner turns up the heat, revs the engine and pulls out of the parking lot.
Alex doesn’t have any problems with money, he just doesn’t like letting opportunities pass him by. When Steiner offered him the chance to split at least 15K between the two of them for a two minute job he was game. Steiner has been doing stuff like this his entire life, never kept a job for more than two months and he’s fine. He lives in a condo downtown and doesn’t even know what a transit bus smells like. Even his criminal record is clean.
“We should stop and get something to eat.” Steiner says.
“You can think about food before something like this?”
“It’s essential to my survival.” He says rubbing his stomach vigorously giving Alex a flash of his white teeth.
“Man I hope you’re kidding.” Alex says, knowing that his friend is being dead serious.
“Besides I need gas, who knows we might be chased.”
“Oh so a couple minutes before all this you decide to tell me that ‘we might be chased.’?”
“Relax will you? It’s just a precaution don’t spread me your negative vibes.”
“Whatever let’s grab burgers up the street.”
“Remind me to flip the plates after we eat alright?”
Alex wants to give him the look but he knows it won’t do any good. Steiner’s the type of guy that you’d think is genetically lacking a few emotions. And in a way he’s calming. It’s like he has a comforting aura, when he talks there’s confidence in his tone. If Steiner told Alex that yellow is red, he’d dial his doctor and tell the man he’s been pissing blood.
They pull up to burger town and Steiner steps out of his car and pops the trunk, takes out a screw driver and unscrews the license plates while Alex buys a few meals inside. When he comes back Steiner is sitting inside his plate less car listening to AC/DC. Alex slips inside the front seat and they start work on the burgers.
“She said I’m not good for her.” Steiner says washing down a mouthful of fries with his cola.
“You’re probably not I mean she’s been to University, really worked hard at it you know? And you’re a criminal.”
“Ah who needs her, she’ll be back when she realizes she's the one that needs me.”
Alex laughs. “How does she need you, exactly?”
“Because I’m not by the book.”
“She can find another guy that isn’t by the book.”
“In which case you’d be contradicting yourself because according to you that’s the only reason she’s leaving me.”
Unwrapping his burger Alex lets out a sigh. “That’s not what I meant. Valerie’s a good girl you know that.”
“And I’m a bad guy, opposites attract my friend.”
“Well then I guess you have it all figured out.” Alex says sipping his ginger ale.
“I guess I do, it’s just weird without her, like something is missing, you know?”
“No I don’t.”
“That’s right, still a freelancer eh Alex?”
Alex sips some more of his soda and stares out the window watching a dad hold the burger town door open for his daughter. “Yeah.”
Steiner let’s out a burp and starts the car’s ignition. “Both tanks fully loaded, permission to depart?” Steiner stares at Alex with his foot on the break and hand on the shifter.
Alex plays along with a sigh, “Granted.”
They pull into a parking space on a downtown street and Steiner rolls a ski mask over his face and takes out a gun from the glove compartment.
“You ready to rumble?” He asks Alex.
“How am I going to hide my face?”
“I have you covered, pal.” He says gesturing with the back of his head to the red motorcycle helmet in the back seat.
Alex clips on the motorcycle helmet. “I feel ridicules.”
“You look ridicules, here take this.” Steiner hands Alex a pistol, he grips it and hides his hand up his sleeve. “Is there a safety?”
Steiner looks at him with eyebrows raised. “It’s not even real princess.”
“On three. One, two, three!” Steiner pops his driver side door and Alex follows through his. They look both ways and cross the street, power walking into a small lottery ticket shop. Guns raised they walk in, Alex grabs an old mans hand, takes the wallet out of his back pocket and slips it into his own then puts him in a headlock and points the gun at his balding head. Steiner sees this and comments. “Good idea might as well get the bang for our buck!"
He points his gun into a circular hole in the bullet proof glass and the guns muzzle touches the clerk’s forehead. “We’re in and we’re out lady just fill up this bag and no one gets hurt.” She starts to cry and fills the bag from the registers and throws it to Steiner and falls under the desk.
“Everyone on the ground wallets out in front of you, hands on your heads anyone dials the police and it’s a massacre!” Steiner shouts pointing his gun at one of the clerks making her way for the panic button, he freezes her with a wink. Alex runs around and collects the wallets.
“Alright now everybody counts to a hundred. Who knows there might be another one of us in the store, if anyone calls the cops before the count, you’re all dead!” Steiner says gun butting the youngest most punk looking kid in the shop, then whispers something in his ear. He bends over and picks up the money bag and holds it open for Alex to drop the wallets in, then they barge out the door. Crossing the street Steiner slides across the hood of a car, Alex sees this and regrets not thinking of it first. They spring into the car and take off, Steiner had left the ignition running.
Fifteen minutes later they pull into Alex’s apartment building's underground to count and split the loot.
“Seven thousand each not including the wallets, good thinking." Steiner says as he flips through a wad of bills. “Thanks.”
Alex stares off into his backpack now full of cash, he wants to correct Steiner and instead thank him. It just takes a little nerve to pull this sort of thing off, the kind of nerve that Alex has none of. He zips up his bag and smiles. He might not have the personality to be a great criminal but his best friend in the driver seat is the next best thing. Alex thinks back now and he’s glad he didn’t attempt to slide across a car on the way out of the lottery shop, he’d feel pretty bad for stealing Steiner’s fire right about now. Besides just like the planned robbery and his signature hat a hood slide is the sort of stunt that only Steiner can pull off.
